R.I.P.

My relations with Hunter Prawn have always had a weird dynamics. I can’t even explain that. According to common sense, I should have given up on him long ago, especially after his attempt to rape me. I hated him for that, true. I rejected his apologies, I broke any contact… I thought I’ve given up.

But I just can’t hate. It’s… Hate for me is like some sort of venom in my veins, burning from the inside who I am and who I want to be. So when the time of the operation got near, I decided to try and restore contact with Hunter. If only to see, if the apologies were sincere… I’m sometimes accused of being a „model example of stockholm synrdome”. Maybe, maybe not. Yet I wanted to know. I wanted to forgive. We all realised that if we’ve had any leak during the investigation, any mistake that would hint traders what we’re up to, we’re gonna suffer heavy losses. This will sound dramatic, but if I were to die then, I didn’t want to do it harboring hate to anyone.

When I finally contacted Hunter, I learned that many things have changed since my last chat with him. He and his cult followers got in some deep shit, most of them dead and the survivors have left him. Hunter himself was crippled, saying that wound doesn’t heal. Call me stupid, but I won’t let anyone die just like that. It took me a while to argue out a rescue mission from South African ARFA. I had to use all the influence I have… but finally they agreed to track him down and send a rescue unit. Short before the trade takedown I got the information, that Hunter’s been recovered and taken to the hospital.

I didn’t have time to check up any news on him for the next few days, because of all the commotion our operation has caused. So I didn’t know a thing, until I got a message from Tanukashi’s medical complex, that Hunter’s been moved to their clinic. It struck me then, that things must be really bad… I went to NY on the first chance I’ve got.

I’ve barely stepped through the entrance, when Ace came up to me… Right, Ace. I don’t know what name has been assigned for him, everyone in the R&D complex just call him Ace. He’s one of the „elders” that work for Tanukashi and he’s been sort of my doctor ever since that nanite infection got discovered. Anyways, he was the one to meet me when I got to the lab/clinic door. He wanted to prepare me… Basically he told me that Hunter was dying. His systems were failing and not even nanites could stop that process now. Even poleepkwan regeneration has its limits, and Hunter used them all up…
Now that I think of it, Ace was one of the few people who’ve never commented about my complicated relations with Hunter.

Hunter was sleeping, when I entered his room. I knocked on the doorframe, ready to leave if he didn’t wake up. He did, looking at me surprised.
- Heh. Well, you caught me by surprise.
I leaned on the wall, keeping his distance. I guess I was still afraid of him.
- I’ve just got here… How are you doing?
- So did I. Well, if 3 days counts as “just”. – he started coughing violently – Not too good, as you can see.
He coughed something up, from the distance I didn’t see… and I didn’t really want to see what it was. I noticed a bandaged stub of his arm. It must have shown on my face, as Hunter wriggled it a bit.
- Yep. Doctor says he’s seen nothing like it. My body’s just…quitting.
I took a step closer, before the common sense stopped my urge to hug him.
- Shit… I… Sorry to hear it.
- Surprised it didn’t happen sooner, frankly. I’ve had shit like this coming to me.
I lost my speech for a moment. Hunter does… did have that effect on me.
- I don’t know what to say… As usual when it comes to you…
He gave me a very meaningful look.
- …we could make out.
I lost my speech again, unsure whether to laugh or feel outraged.
- You never give up, eh?
Hunter just laughed. I could only shake my head.
- You’re impossible, Sq’awx.
- I guess I am. Surprised you kept a straight face, though. For a second there, you looked like you’d actually do it… – his laughter turned into violent cough again. I forgot my concerns, running up to his bed.
- Should I call a doctor?
- No, no, no. I’m fine, I’m fine. – His eyes widened as he gasped for breath – …Actually… I think that’d be a good idea…
I ran out to the hall, getting the nearest nurse to call a doctor. When I got back to his side, Hunter was still coughing, until he eventually managed to spit something out.
- Fok! Tell me that’s not more of it!
- More of what? – I asked out of the reflex, pretty sure I don’t want to know.
- My lung tissue. I’ve been chucking that up since this morning. – He tried to calm his breath – It was my small intestines the first day, some muscle tissue the second day, a few nerves and lymph the day after that…
Out of the reflex, I took his hand. He looked up, into my eyes.
- I’m falling apart. These things have kept me alive for so long, and now they’re failing me.
What was I supposed to say? That I knew he’s dying? I felt a tear running down.
- Yes, I know. The doctors told me…
At that moment the door opened and some medical personell came in. I was asked to leave the room…

I’m not sure how many time passed before I could go in again. Hunter was lying there, black blood staining his bedsheets, with a listless look in his eyes. His breath was slow and heavy. He didn’t react when I took his hand. I touched his head.
- Sq’awx?
He didn’t look at me.
- Did I tell you about the stars I saw?
My throat got tight and I could hear my voice shake.
- I think you did one time… But I’ll listen.
- It’s like… it’s like Heaven. All those stars, all shapes and sizes and colors, out into… into…
I nearly whispered as my voice kept breaking.
- Into what?
He turned his head to me, suddenly looking very old and very tired.
- I’ve been a monster. I’ve been nothing to you but a sick monster. I’ve done shit that would leave you running. I’ve torn apart whole lives, whole families, for a quick buck. I’ve done horrid shit to you too.
He covered his face with the good hand. I took it, making him look at me again.
- I don’t think you’re a monster…
Surprising as it may seem, it was as true as can be. Hunter looked at me with wide eyes.
- How don’t you?! I would’ve RAPED you, child! I would’ve commited one of the most despicable things a creature can DO!
- I still dont. I’ve hated you for a moment, true. But…
- You don’t even know why, do you? You’ve been worrying on all this time, thinking I just needed a mommy to hold my hand. But the truth is, all the things I’ve done are not going to… – he broke and rested his head on the pillow, gasping for breath – to… to…
I squeezed his hand.
- To what?
- … to… help… me…
Hunter turned to me again, his eyes were wide with fear. I touched his head, trying to give him at least a bit of comfort. I could feel tears running down my face.
- Shh… calm down, Sq’awx.
He took a deep breath.
- M-Maria… I’m… Forgive me.
I took all of my willpower not to start crying loud.
- I already did, Sq’awx. I already did…
His breath was getting slower and slower. I could barely hear, when he said „Thanks”. Seconds later, his eyes closed and his motionless hand slipped off my fingers. He was dead.

A while later the door opened again. They must have gotten a signal he’s dead from all that medical equipment… Ace was with them, I felt his hand on my shoulder. I just patted it, shook my head and walked away. I wasn’t really in the mood to talk.

I just hope Sq’awx is finally happy, wherever he is…